And now for something completely different…

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A guest post by Gonzo Alfman (a friend of Huppy’s):

THE STATE OF THE STATE OF THE UNION
OR
THE WAY THINGS SEEM TO BE.

AN APOLOGIA

This is by no means a scholarly treatise and in no way does it pretend to be. There was no research in those tomes shelved in great libraries. There are no citations to great works, no et seqs or op cits or ibids. This is merely a presentation of the author’s beliefs based on his experiences and accumulated perceptions during his life and the observations and opinions derived therefrom and the same are colored, as all such are, by his biases, such as those might be. I do not ask the reader, should might even there be one, to adopt the opinions and beliefs set forth herein, but only to give open and fair consideration to any proffered matters that might be revealed.

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Cover Options for Huppy’s Book

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Just in case you weren’t on my blast email, there are three versions. While the cover won’t look exactly like what I have here (The publisher mucks with it first) it will be the gist of way is finally produced.Also, if you prefer one but think it could be made better, feel free to chime in. Keep in mind though, these are based on their templates so there’s not a lot of wiggle room.

So, I’m taking votes. Any preferences? What do you think would look better on a Barnes&Noble shelf?

Please respond by Friday AM if you are going to respond. I need to get this stuff to his editor (responses aren’t mandatory, though very appreciated).
Hope you all are well and FYI, we’re back in the States on the 26th of July. Lagniappe, here we come!
Versions after the jump:

I’ll have another post up shortly

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But I just have to say that as I was cleaning the shrimp, I looked out the window and saw these three young guys walk by. They were all wearing white short-sleeved shirts and black ties. I thought to myself “Huh. They look like they should be on Broadway in the ‘Book of Mormon’ or something.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, they knock on my door. I feigned ignorance of Spanish, which really isn’t much of a feign. Anyway, I said, “Me habla no Span, er, español.” It was as wrong as I could get it. Sadly, one of the guys said “Oh, you speak English! We’re missionaries! I’m from Missouri! Where are you from?!”  (Everything they said was punctuated with a nice, clean exclamation point. I’m not kidding.)

What are the odds?

They asked me if I knew about the book of Mormon. I just stood there with shrimp poop covering my hands and thought, “Seriously? Did that boy just say that out loud?”

I didn’t know what I could do to get rid of them. At first, I thought I should say “Sorry. I’m a Wiccan.” But I don’t have any visible tattoos or piercings so I doubt I could work the Wiccan thing. Then I thought “Sorry, I’m a polytheist.” But that just sounded retarded. I mean, nobody’s a real polytheist anymore.  So I decided on, “Sure. I know a few mormons. Excommunicated ones, but, you know.” Which actually isn’t a lie.

It worked.

They waved and said, “Have a nice day!”